Did someone ever asked you for forgiveness? Have you ever felt angry about a situation that didn’t depend on you but affected you directly? Have you ever been upset for assuming… for acting before asking… before even listening? Have you ever made the wrong judgements about someone? Have you ever lied, or hidden the true story? Have you ever hurt someone you love? Have you ever been wrong?  Have you forgiven? Have you truly regret ? Have you listened your inner thoughts? Have you made a pause to breathe, and allow yourself to feel the good, the bad, and all that stuff we don’t even know how to categorize? … Have you ever dream, share your heart, speak out loud your soul? Have you ever been really happy, like truly…very happy?

I do. I have done all that… a lot.

This previous paragraph is part of what I’ve felt. What I’ve lived and also what I’ve forgotten. Not everything is sad, or hard, not everything represents an obstacle, though not everything is happy, or peaceful, but I can assure you, it is all life. The answers, the anecdotes behind those few questions are what brought me here, with company or by myself. With a warm heart and fears, but also with my hidden strength, with will and not with the same smile, it is constantly changing… and it’s never the same, but the sensation is always there.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes, you cannot enlist them, and I could write a story about each of them and you’ll be surprised. Those kind of stories where you don’t believe the narrator, and seems to be exaggerating or very ironic. Stories that make you have a feeling of compassion and laughter at the same time. I’ve quite a few of those… even at my short age is a long list. Although I try not to have that in mind, because what keeps me up are more positive moments and all that times, people or places that give us happier energy.

I make mistakes everywhere, everyday, I can be wrong with time, numbers, letters or words. I’m wrong when I run, when I act with dedication or without it. I’m wrong taking a step back or just going straight. I’m wrong on the way, during the morning or the afternoon, also at night, sometimes… I’m wrong thinking or if I already said it out loud. I’m wrong in public or in private. I’m wrong in tears, or holding them in. I may be wrong and just shut all those feelings. I’m wrong when I choose or when I don’t… I’m always making mistakes, but that’s who I am.

I’m a little bunch of mistakes, but with all that crisis, I’m introspective, I’m curious, I’m stubborn, and I’m not as impatient as I used to. But at the same time, I’m also a body of right choices, with ideas, goals, beautiful experiences, surrounded by incredible, intense, smart, talented people, with amazing memories, with achievements, with lots of laughter and smiles, with craziness and compliments, efforts, sighs, senses and feelings, with imagination, with eyes that may turn off sometimes but will always keep their spark. I’m optimistic, I’m also a nervous person, I’m sounds and I’m movements, and with all that I’m tolerant… I’m a small piece of constant hope, of intensity, passion, I’m a dose of love, of secret romanticism… that’s me… Just like that.

I write with my heart, with a messy head and small hands.

I’m always making mistakes… obviously I’m not everytime right or in a timely manner, but I’m truly honest, real and someone who wants to learn, and live.

There are situations where you just think “this doesn’t depends on me” but I don’t fully agree with that. Because it does, there will be times where it’ll depend on you. Depends on how you react, how you look at it, how you overcome it, how do you stand or fall, how did you listened or how did you said it… Yes, mind, heart and soul, it depends on you.

That’s part of why I accept the “come and go” of my life, my actions and myself. That’s why I gotta accept and ask for help, advice or hugs… That’s why sometimes I may be ok and some others not so much. Because that’s who I am, and it depends on me. And in the way  I make mistakes, in that same way I do the right thing, and I also stand out, and I smile and live.

I’m just being me.

In fact, it can happen to each of us, or not? I mean, to be somehow… and then change… to grow, come back, continue, learn… a little bit of everything… I believe this is what connects us to this space, between us, and toward oneself… all these encapsulated in a single silhouette.

With all these, I’m just trying to leave a reminder here, one for me, or if you needed one too, or if you weren’t looking but found it, or however it happened… it is here, written for you.

Make sure to feel well, in peace, calm with yourself, not with the expectations from others. Breathe, accepting that this is what we are, an heterogeneous blend of I don’t know what… I’m still on the process, and I write during that time, I do it for me, and for you, because you’re reading this… so, if you needed some company or were just curious, or if I convinced you, or for any possible reason you may think of… the invitation to come by will always stay open.

Thank you for reading.

Because we all make mistakes, we found solutions, we all learn, and we all deserve a free, full, happy and peaceful life.

*International Day for Tolerance / 11.16.2018